Clash of the Titans 3D (Theaters)

To be honest with everyone, I was quite against this remake since they day I found out it was in production. Yet is was the lure of the original that brought me into the theaters today. As a child, Desmond Davis’s Clash of the Titans was nothing short of magical for me. Regardless of how cheesy it may have been, it brought to life a universe of Greek mythology which previously could only be retold though books and oral tradition. Over the last couple decades, I will proudly admit to watching the original at least fifty times over, and prior to this screening, I did spend a lazy afternoon reliving the 1981 cult classic on my living room sofa in all its glory.

I think the biggest disappointment I had with Clash of the Titans was the huge alterations to the storyline. When you remake a movie such as this one, it needs to stay true to its roots. Remakes are created to enhance the experience and retell a story using updated technology and special effects. Not ruin it by changing the very fabric of the story itself. Okay, so the basic plot of the story remained the same, (Perseus defeating the Kraken) but the storytelling and development were so foreign to me. They changed so much in the screenplay, that with a few adjustments here and there, it could have possibly been made into another film altogether.

Putting Bias and nostalgia aside, this film was still quite horrible. Besides the updated CGI monsters and action sequences, this film lacked any kind of substance whatsoever. The storyline in the original was definitely not academy award winning, but at least it had one. This film seemed to jump from idea to idea with little to no explanation. There was hardly any background info on any of the characters or development for that matter and the dialogue between the actors was just grotesque. It was really hard for me to appreciate anything in this film.

Yet despite all its flaws, I believe there will be some out there who will come out of the theaters with some sort of satisfaction. After all, the sound was great, the monsters were pretty cool, and the film maintained a nice pace. Enough to keep the average moviegoer entertained.

My suggestion? If you enjoyed the original, I’d wait till this one is released on Blu-Ray and DVD. Everything that made the original a magical experience is gone. Save yourself the time and money and rent it. If you’ve never seen Clash of the Titans, pay for the 2D version of the film. The movie was shot with 2D in mind and during its post production some genius thought it was a good idea to make it 3D. The 3D glasses didn’t enhance the story or effects one bit.

Nightmare on Elm Street Trailer

Freddy Krueger (Jackie Earle Haley) returns in A Nightmare On Elm Street, a contemporary re-imagining of a horror classic.

A group of suburban teenagers share one common bond: they are all being stalked by Freddy Krueger, a horribly disfigured killer who hunts them in their dreams. As long as they stay awake, they can protect one another… but when they sleep, there is no escape.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Theaters)

WARNING!! THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!!

Let me start by saying that I loved the first Transformers movie. In all honesty, if I were to make a list of pros and cons about the movie, I think the list would be pretty even. But if you look at the weight of each item, the positive far outweighs the negative. Optimus Prime producing a sword from his hand and decapitating Bonecrusher under the freeway definitely makes up for John Turturro in his Sector 7 underwear getting peed on by Bumblebee.  Likewise, Jazz’s annoying ebonics and breakdancing are more than made up for by seeing his body ripped in half by Megatron’s bare hands while perched atop a skyscraper. The list goes on and on, but the bottom line is that every annoyance in the first film is easily washed away by the sheer badassery of other elements of the film.

Unfortunately, after watching T:ROF, the negative outweighs the positive. It reminded me of a fighter who is being paid to throw a fight. They do just enough to look like they’re trying to win, while the whole time they are setting themselves up to lose.  One of the gripes from the first film was that there weren’t enough robot battles and that the ones that were featured were almost too clunky and awkward to clearly determine who was who.  Director Michael Bay really does a great job of not only throwing in more incredible action scenes, but also in cleaning them up so that they are easier to follow. The action scenes are just awesome and Bay has really upped the brutality level in all of the fights. Watching the Transformers battle it out is what audiences pay to see, and in that respect the flick more than delivers.

Sadly, almost everything between these battles is excruciatingly painful to watch. I can accept the Transformers movie having minimal character development and plot holes big enough to drive Optimus Prime through. However, what kills me is the fact that Bay felt the need to include humor that seemed like it was written by the writers of ‘Meet the Spartans’ and ‘Disaster Movie.’ Robots farting, robot balls dangling, Old Robot with a cane, and a robot leg humping a human are all featured in this film. Are these the elements this incredible franchise is reduced to? Apparently so.

As far as characters, Bay introduces so many meaningless additional characters while at the same time ruining existing characters. There is a Decepticon who can transform into a hot college coed. Her transformation amounts to nothing more than a metallic looking ‘Species’ rip off and her inclusion in the movie is highly unnecessary.  Then there are Sam’s new sidekicks and protectors who have earned the nickname ‘Car Car Binks’ from various other reviews due to their irritating nature and the stereotype they personify. These twins speak in full ebonics, have gold teeth, and are dumb as a box of rocks. While I wasn’t anywhere near as irritated by them as a lot of other people (I actually found them kind of funny in a ‘I can’t beileve I’m laughing at something this stupid’ kind of way) I did feel that their inclusion was also very unnecessary.

Then there are the existing characters. In this film, the almighty Megatron is reduced to, for lack of a better term, a little bitch. In the first film, he was an unstoppable monster who nearly killed Optimus Prime. Here, he is reduced to the role of subservient errand boy. Then there is Soundwave, who is nothing more than a glorified talking sattelite in space. Don’t even get me started on Bay’s treatment of Devastator or Jetfire. One thing is clear, the threat of the Decepticons is considerably less menacing than in the first film.

There are numerous other problems that I had with the film, but these are the more major ones that I can think of right now. Is it a good movie? yes, but by no means is it great. There are quite a few elements that make it worth watching. The previously mentioned action scenes are top notch. While the physicality of the Transformers seems to have lost a bit of freshness from the first movie, it is still a blast to watch them throw down on screen.  Sam’s interaction with his parents is still pretty damn funny. Surprisingly, John Turturro is less annoying in this film and is actually one of the funnier, more entertaining characters. Believe it or not, Megan Fox actually got a bit hotter in this film also.

So while the movie didn’t quite live up to the hype and promise of the original, it is still very entertaining despite all of its flaws. I’ll be watching it again since i have to take my son to go see it. Who knows, maybe my opinion of the film will change after another look.  As it stands in my mind right now, it’s a good and entertaining flick that is definitely worth watching at least once.