GI Joe : The Rise of Cobra (Theaters)

Since they first announced they were going to make a live action GI Joe film, I had mixed feelings. The announcement came hot on the heels of the massive success of the first Transformers film, with GI Joe being the obvious candidate for the next Hasbro franchise with cash cow potential. I loved the cartoons, the comic book, and even the toys but it always seemed a bit second rate to me compared to the Transformers franchise. After watching the movie, I feel that the film also feels a bit second rate in comparison.

The plot is fairly straight forward. An arms dealer, Destro (he actually had a name in the film but it doesn’t matter- he is Destro just without the metal head) has developed warheads that release nano mites capable of devouring anything in their path until they are deactivated. When it comes time for the warheads to be delivered, the delivery is hijacked. We soon find out that the warheads were hijacked by Destro’s organization and that he  plans to use them in his quest for world domination. It is up to an elite military unit, GI Joe, to find the warheads and stop Destro….and that’s pretty much it. There is a minor twist involved, but most people will see it coming from a mile away.

If this is your first exposure to the GI Joe universe, you will be confused as all hell. There is little to no introduction given on any of the characters and everything that happens just sort of happens without rhyme or reason. This is actually not too bad as you definitely have to suspend all disbelief for this film and come in ready to watch things explode and not think about it all too much. The movie is action packed and the settings are all pretty cool, ranging from an arctic snow base to an underwater fortress. Some of the underwater CGI is a bit too obvious and has too much of a cartoonish vibe to it.  I know this is a movie based on a cartoon, but the other settings all had a sense of realism to them, so the underwater sequences seem to stand out a bit more and seems inconsistent with the feel of the rest of the film.

As far as the casting goes, I didn’t really have any complaints. There wasn’t really much background or development given to any of them so it didn’t matter too much who played who. The one character that bothered me a little bit was Channing Tatum’s Duke. I remember Duke to be really clean cut and all American. Tatum’s Duke possesses enough of Duke’s physical characteristics, but I felt his portrayal was a bit too street for me.  His line delivery reminded me of John Cena on WWE.  Tatum doesn’t do a bad job, but his swagger just seems a bit out of place in his role.

Perhaps the coolest characters in the flick were the two ninjas. Byung hun-lee is excellent as super model / ninja StormShadow. I’m not sure if he was a super model in the movie, but when he wasn’t in his full ninja gear he definitely gave off a Zoolander type vibe. Ray Park is  equally cool as Snake eyes, the other half of the ninja rivalry. The only problem I had with Snake Eyes was with his costume design.  Snake Eyes is mute, yet for some reason they decided to add lips to his costume.That’s right- a cool ass ninja in all black with lips like Jay-Z.  Why they did this- I have no idea, but it really distracted me everytime he showed up.

If you go into this movie expecting some cool action sequences and special effects, you won’t be dissappointed.  However, if you go in expecting anything more you’re going to find the movie falls a bit short. I’m interested to see what my son thinks of the movie, since I’m sure most 9 year olds will think it is one of the coolest movies ever made. I can’t lie- I did enjoy the film, but there were just too many moments when it became way too campy for me. 

I realize that the source material isn’t exactly the deepest, but did they really have to try to awkwardly incorporate EVERY single catch phrase from the original cartoons? The movie reminded me a bit of the Fantastic four movies of recent years. Both franchises have the potential for greatness, but the actual flicks just seem to be missing that certain element that would make them excellent. The bottom line is that if you just want to be mindlessly entertained and enjoy a little bit of nostalgia at the same time, GI Joe is your movie.

White Chicks (DVD)

Okay so I didnt watch this one in theaters. I enjoyed the “6th Man” and the blacksloitation spoof “Im gonna git you sucka” but I didnt really care for scary movie. So I sat this one out till it came around to DVD. I did enjoy it. The Wayan brothers are hardly the best comedians or actors but I couldnt help but laugh. The shots they took at the Hilton sisters and white high class girls in general had me balling all night long.

Synopsis:

Marcus (Marlon Wayans) and Kevin (Shawn Wayans) are two bumbling FBI agents looking for a way to get back into the good graces of their superiors. When an opportunity to escort two high-profile socialites, Tiffany (Anne Dudek) and Brittany Wilson (Maitland Ward), to the Hamptons comes along, the partners take the assignment, but accidentally injure the sisters, forcing them to cancel plans for a fashion show they were to attend. To avoid trouble, Marcus and Kevin dress up as the Wilson sisters and head to the Hamptons to cover for the missing siblings.