Category Archives: Two Stars

Premonition (DVD)

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premonition_ver3I really had no intention of watching Premonition. I had read several reviews about it on IMDb and they were so terrible I decided to skip it altogether. However when I got up this morning, the opening credits were rolling, I ended up plopping myself on the couch to watch it with the rest of the early birds.

Although I really wanted to enjoy this film, by midpoint it had me really lost and the plot seemed to be jumping everywhere but forward. The script itself was very original and promising, but the execution was just terrible. There were just too many inconsistencies.

I thought the acting was decent and Sandra Bullock did the best she could with the role she was given. The last time I remember her in a really good film was Speed. Seems like such a long time ago. Bullock is such a beautiful and talented actor and its ashame that she gets caught up in roles like this one. Hopefully her luck will change soon. Unless your a die hard Sandra Bullock fan or have a deep rooted love affair with Nip Tuck (Julian McMahon), I have this funny premonition that you will not like this film.

Shrek 3 (Theaters)

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Last year I took my students to watch Over the Hedge for their end of the school year field trip. This year my students decided they wanted to watch Shrek the Third.

I thought that the film fell very short of the previous two installments. It just wasn’t very entertaining. The first two films had great music, great dialogue, a good plot, and some really comical lines. This film lacked in all those departments. There was no energy, very little humor, and the storyline was very weak. I could have brought to class one of those straight to video cartoons and it would have probably been more entertaining than Shrek. My students were restless, some had fallen asleep, and I even noticed a few with their ipod headsets on instead of watching the movie.

I think children under the age of 10 would probably enjoy this film much more than my 11-12 year olds did. If you have youngsters, it would probably be worth a matinee. Otherwise skip the film and wait for its DVD release.

synopsis: Shrek and Fiona are having to take on the duties of being the active king and queen of Far, Far Away. When we left him, the King was quite literally croaking. They’re not very comfortable in these roles, so the King says to them, “If you can find the heir to the throne and bring him back, the Kingdom will be in good hands, then you can return to swamp and live your lives.” Which is what they want to do. Shrek, Donkey and Puss go to the far side of the Kingdom of Far, Far Away where young “Artie”, who is the nephew of Queen Lilian, is about to graduate school. Artie turns out to be young King Arthur and Shrek and Donkey and Puss have to convince this extremely rebellious young man, who’s being voiced by Justin Timberlake, to come back and assume the throne. Along the way, Shrek invents the Round Table, chivalry. Donkey is the Lady in the Lake with the sword. You get it. Meanwhile, back at the Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Prince Charming decides that it’s time for a coup d’etat.

The Marine (DVD)

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marine I still can’t believe I spent 90 minutes of my life watching this film. What instantly caught my attention was the star villain, Mr. Terminator II himself. His jokes were so corny I had to put a pillow over my face to cover my laughter. This was the only reason I gave it two stars. The jokes were so lame that it actually put a smile on my face. My wife thought I had gone insane. To add insult to injury, his band of crooks were even worse than himself!

As for John Cena, he needs to stick to wrestling. I honestly feel that he has no business on the big screen. The Rock has a huge advantage over him in regards to acting. He just seems more natural than Cena does. I just could not get over Cena running around and getting beat up with little to no injuries on his body. It was completely unrealistic. I mean come on. Rambo was unrealistic, but at least he broke and arm and had to sew up his wounds. Cena just kept going and going regardless of the obstacles he faced. He honestly should have been killed since the opening sequence.

If your a hardcore WWE and Cena fan, you might actually enjoy this. Otherwise, this is a film you won’t miss.

WWE Smackdown star and self-proclaimed “Doctor of Thuganomics” John Cena makes his explosive action feature debut as John Triton, an injured U.S. Marine who returns home from duty against his will, only to have his wife kidnapped by a ruthless criminal. Robert Patrick co-stars as the villainous Rome — who is more than willing to kill if it means staying one step ahead of the law — and Nip/Tuck star Kelly Carlson appears as the endangered object of the vengeful veteran’s affections. With nothing left to lose and enough training to take down a small army, the hard-fighting Triton sets out to rescue his wife, and ensure that the psychotic Rome receives a painful taste of Semper Fi justice. Commercial veteran John Bonito takes the rein for his feature directorial debut.