Category Archives: Two Stars

Clash of the Titans 3D (Theaters)

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To be honest with everyone, I was quite against this remake since they day I found out it was in production. Yet is was the lure of the original that brought me into the theaters today. As a child, Desmond Davis’s Clash of the Titans was nothing short of magical for me. Regardless of how cheesy it may have been, it brought to life a universe of Greek mythology which previously could only be retold though books and oral tradition. Over the last couple decades, I will proudly admit to watching the original at least fifty times over, and prior to this screening, I did spend a lazy afternoon reliving the 1981 cult classic on my living room sofa in all its glory.

I think the biggest disappointment I had with Clash of the Titans was the huge alterations to the storyline. When you remake a movie such as this one, it needs to stay true to its roots. Remakes are created to enhance the experience and retell a story using updated technology and special effects. Not ruin it by changing the very fabric of the story itself. Okay, so the basic plot of the story remained the same, (Perseus defeating the Kraken) but the storytelling and development were so foreign to me. They changed so much in the screenplay, that with a few adjustments here and there, it could have possibly been made into another film altogether.

Putting Bias and nostalgia aside, this film was still quite horrible. Besides the updated CGI monsters and action sequences, this film lacked any kind of substance whatsoever. The storyline in the original was definitely not academy award winning, but at least it had one. This film seemed to jump from idea to idea with little to no explanation. There was hardly any background info on any of the characters or development for that matter and the dialogue between the actors was just grotesque. It was really hard for me to appreciate anything in this film.

Yet despite all its flaws, I believe there will be some out there who will come out of the theaters with some sort of satisfaction. After all, the sound was great, the monsters were pretty cool, and the film maintained a nice pace. Enough to keep the average moviegoer entertained.

My suggestion? If you enjoyed the original, I’d wait till this one is released on Blu-Ray and DVD. Everything that made the original a magical experience is gone. Save yourself the time and money and rent it. If you’ve never seen Clash of the Titans, pay for the 2D version of the film. The movie was shot with 2D in mind and during its post production some genius thought it was a good idea to make it 3D. The 3D glasses didn’t enhance the story or effects one bit.

The Box (DVD)

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The premise for The Box is fairly simple. You receive a box with a button on it. You are then given the choice to press the button, which will result in two things: a stranger somewhere will die and you will receive 1 million dollars. Upon hearing about this premise you will decide on one of two things: it sounds promising and could be a great movie or it sounds completely stupid. Unfortunately, I was with the first group who thought this film sounded interesting and had a lot of potential.

The film takes place some time in the 70s and the entire film is shot with a retro feel to it making it reminiscent of films like ‘Poltergeist’ or ‘Close Encounters’. However, the visual comparisons end there as The Box doesn’t have any of the substance of any of the two previously mentioned films. Cameron Diaz is a school teacher / mother who is employed at a prestigous local private school which her son also attends. James Marsden plays her husband, who works for NASA and is a hopeful candidate for the astronaut program. To make a long story short, the family comes into some financial hardship and decides to press the button. What ensues is a confusing and uninteresting romp towards a less than impresive climax.

Most of the interest in the plot stems from the mysterious box. How does it work? How do people die from it? Unfortunately the answers to these questions ultimatley drag the movie down quite a bit. I won’t spoil the details, but the method in which they explain everything is seriously dissappointing.

If you are really dying to watch this movie, then it may be worth renting to see for yourself. I watched this movie for free and was still disappointed even with my bar set relatively low. It is a shame since Marsden and Diaz are great actors but unfortunately they weren’t good enough to salvage this film.

Knowing (DVD)

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When I rented this movie, I only knew two things about it. First, the plot seemed similar to Nicolas Cage’s ‘Next’, a movie which also relies heavily on future predictions in order to prevent a forthcoming disaster.  Second, I know that Nicolas Cage owes me a solid movie. That’s right. The man owes me. I’ve sat through quite a few recent Nic Cage movies expecting to relive his former glory status from ‘The Rock’ or ‘Con Air’. Hell at this point I’d be satisfied with some ‘Gone in 60 seconds’ level of entertainment.  They say that knowing is half the battle. This may be true, but you can still lose the battle if all you have is knowing.

The premise of the film starts out very promising. It starts out in 1959 at an elementary school where they are placing items in a time capsule and are about to bury it for future generations. An odd looking young girl frantically scribbles down numeric sequences on a card to be placed in the capsule, while her classmates are all coloring pictures for their future counterparts. The girl’s writing is interrupted as her teacher grabs her writing and abruptly places it into the capsule.

Fast forward to the present day where Nicolas Cage’s son attends the same school and his class is about to have a ceremony where they open the time capsule from 50 years prior. Cage’s son happens to be the one who gets the card with the mysterious number sequence.  Later that night, Cage analyzes the numbers and realizes that they predict every major disaster since the time of the capsule up until the present day. Even more shocking is that they foretell of accidents that have not yet happened, but are predicted to occur.  As the predictions on the sheet begin to come true, Cage deciphers that the next prediction details the end of the world and that we must make preparations if we are to survive. That is about where the good stuff ends.

The movie suffers from a bit of an identity crisis. It doesn’t know whether it wants to be  a sci fi, horror, or thriller flick and it doesn’t have the charm to successfully combine all three. I won’t spoil the plot for those who want to watch this film, but everything really started unraveling for me at about the mid way point.  The plot had a lot of potential, just somewhere during the execution it all got muddled up.

The acting in this movie is definitely workable, although there really isn’t any focus on characters other than Nicolas Cage and his son. Cage is decent, although his role doesn’t seem to require a whole lot from him. The son is decent also, since he doesn’t have too much to do in this flick either. Chances are that this film won’t be in the top of Cage’s filmography.  It’s too bad the little girl couldn’t have put in a warning about the release dates for Cage’s latest movies.

Knowing is a sub par attempt at combining a bunch of different movie genres with lackluster results. By the end of the film, I didn’t really care what happened to anyone in the story. Maybe serious Nic Cage fans will love this movie, but I felt that there were so many problems that not even Cage’s likability could overcome them.  Overall, I would suggest this as a rental only if there really isnt anything else on the shelves.